Heartbreak, Healing and Hope!
During a conversation with a girlfriend, I said something that is worth repeating. As she was reflecting on her last relationship, she was trying very hard to make herself feel like a superwoman who could and would plow through her latest pain as if she had not been abused and misused.
As I held space and listened, I asked her if she was open to a comment. After blasting me with “of course, DANA!,” I softly said to her that she had earned permission by way of experiences to feel how she feels and that it was okay to be hurt and admit to being hurt. It is not enough to just say “he won’t do that to me again” but authentic healing requires that we own what the “it” was.
It is okay to feel like you will never breath again while taking breaths, it is okay to acknowledge that that man hurt you and that you want him to be struck by lightning for doing so!
I told my precious friend, that more than one thing can be true and often is.
We can acknowledge hurt while committing to the healing process. We can cry while dancing and scream while walking forward. We do not have to honor one emotion or commitment over another but we must keep moving away from dishonor and out of it!
Feel that shit out, sit with that pain, honor it and be become better for it.
Denial begets bitterness. Bitterness begets isolation. Isolation begets fear. Fear begets cynicism and this wheel will continue to spin until we give our soul and our spirit permission to honor the truth and move accordingly.
Love won’t reside with lies. If we want the real deal, we have to be the real deal, and it’s alright if we have to cry some tears on our way there and when we get underneath the next man, we won’t make him pay for what “whats his name” did.
Trust me, if you get through the pain right, the pleasure won’t even allow you to remember.
Much Love,
Dana Lena’
